


In The Memory Of My Body And Mind

by OwenToDawn



Series: Building Up Slowly [4]
Category: Block B, FANXY CHILD (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Cock Warming, Dom!Hyoseob, Dom/sub, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Sub!Jiho, Subspace, Topping from the Bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23586946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwenToDawn/pseuds/OwenToDawn
Summary: Hyoseob's pretty sure he would give Jiho the world if he asked
Relationships: Shin Hyoseob | Crush/Woo Jiho | Zico
Series: Building Up Slowly [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620346
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	In The Memory Of My Body And Mind

**Author's Note:**

> I finally finished it! I've been wanting to finish writing this for weeks now. I hope you all enjoy it. This is also the end of the series. I feel like I've explored what I wanted to with these two. If another idea strikes me I'll certainly revisit it but currently, I feel comfortable calling this series finished. 
> 
> I don't know if they're reading this but I'd like to gift this work to Levy if they're still able to read these. Their fan art is a big reason why this series continued. I've linked to it in part 2 of this series. 
> 
> Comments are loved
> 
> Title from Fire Water by Code Kunst (feat. G Soul and Tablo) which I highly recommend listening to while reading

Hyoseob pushes his fingers through Jiho’s hair, frowning. Jiho isn’t relaxed. He can tell from the way he holds himself even as he’s stretched out across Hyoseob’s smaller form, face tucked against his neck. He could just ignore it and let Jiho come to him when he’s ready to talk about what’s bothering him. He doesn’t feel inclined to do that though. Not if even after a session where he’d gotten Jiho far into subspace, he still feels this tense.

But he can’t just blunder into it either.

“Something on your mind?” It’s the most neutral thing he can think of to say.

Jiho sighs, stretching out with an exaggerated noise before going limp again. “I hate that you can always just tell.”

“It’s my superpower. I was born with it.”

The remark earns him a snort of laughter for his trouble and he smiles even if Jiho can’t see it.

"It’s just…I don’t know. I had an idea but I don’t know if I’ll actually like it,” Jiho says.

"Isn’t that how most our ideas start out?”

"I guess…”

When Jiho doesn’t continue, Hyoseob debates pushing him again. From the way Jiho lays against him, tense and so anxious he can feel it, it doesn’t seem like a good idea. He shifts so he can press a kiss to the top of Jiho’s head.

“It’s-“

“I want to try topping.” Jiho blurs the words out, too loud for how quiet the room is.

Hyoseob blinks and forces the hand that’s been sliding through Jiho’s hair to keep moving so he doesn’t make Jiho more nervous from his shock. He truly hadn’t expected…this. Their sex life isn’t boring by any stretch of the imagination, but there is a sort of routine to it all – Jiho likes what he likes. And he likes being full. He likes being fucked. That doesn’t mean he can’t like other things too but at face value, Hyoseob can’t see what Jiho wants out of topping him.

Not that it mattered. At face value, he hadn’t been able to see what it was about somnophilia that was so appealing to him until they’d actually done it. The more he thinks about it, the more he can understand what the appeal is. It’s not just that Jiho likes getting fucked until he can’t think, it’s that he likes making Hyoseob feel good, serving him in any way he can, and that’s possible to do if he’s topping too. It’s just a different type of serving. Or, at least it would be if Hyoseob actually liked to be topped. He’s never done it that way before.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have to,” Jiho says.

“No, no, I’m not opposed,” Hyoseob says. “I just…have never done it like that before.”

“If it makes you uncomfortable-“

“Stop that,” Hyoseob says, voice firm but soft. “I’m not uncomfortable. I’m willing to try, just don’t be too disappointed if I don’t like it at all. I’m definitely not writing it off though, don’t worry.”

“You’re too good to me,” Jiho says.

Hyoseob kisses the top of his head again. “I think it’s the other way around.”

-.-

The first few times Hyoseob tries fingering himself, he doesn’t like it at all. It feels weird, foreign, and it hurts a little even with lube, but that could also be because he’s so nervous about it that he can’t bring himself to relax. But Hyoseob isn’t a quitter. He tries again towards the end of a relaxing bath on a day he’d purposely scheduled to be entirely free so he would have nothing to distract him.

He stares up at the ceiling as he slicks his fingers with lube and then reaches between his legs again. It’s easier this time, one finger sliding in with little resistance. He’d still be hard pressed to call it pleasurable, but he remembers his and Jiho’s first time pretty clearly and Jiho hadn’t even enjoyed it until Hyoseob found his prostate with two fingers inside him. He breathes out, slow, and continues to let himself relax around the intrusion before pulling his hand out of the water and reapplying lube to two fingers.

Two is worse. He almost stops and calls it quits, but after a moment he’s able to adjust to it and work them both deeper, shallow little thrusts that make his wrist cramp and his foot kick out any time he startles himself by going too deep too soon. It takes a while, but eventually he has a good rhythm, shifting his hips more so he doesn’t have to move his wrist as much. From there it’s motions he’s familiar with even if he’s never done them on himself, stretching his fingers out a little bit at a time as his muscles relax until finally, he can touch his prostate.

That’s…nice. It definitely makes the whole affair better, a low and deep pleasurable thrum humming through him as he rubs at it, but nothing like the way Jiho falls apart once he gets going. But it’s tolerable and his dick begins to harden the more he rubs, but the actual penetration doesn’t do much for him. He can live with it though, especially if Jiho wants to try. If it sucks, they won’t do it again, so he’s not too worried about it.

Maybe it’ll be different with Jiho.

-.-

It’s certainly different. If by different one means so horrible it takes everything in him not to panic from the way Jiho is moments away from bursting into tears from humiliation. This isn’t the little bit of humiliation Jiho sometimes likes either. It’s…

“I’m sorry…” Jiho’s voice sounds choked, like his throat is tight the way it gets when he cries.

"It’s fine.” It’s not fine, mostly because the brief pleasure he’d had from Jiho’s dick being hard when it slid in and brushed against his prostate is entirely gone because Jiho had come barely a second after he’d gotten all the way inside and now he’s going soft. But Hyoseob isn’t going to mention any of that. “Hey, it’s okay.”

"It’s really not.”

Hyoseob rubs his back and then brings his hands up to tug at Jiho’s hair and chin until he can pull him back enough that they can look at each other. “It is. We knew it might not go well, but it’s fine.”

“I came like a fucking twelve-year-old,” Jiho says, expression twisted up into something angry and humiliated all at once. It makes Hyoseob’s chest ache. “It’s…fuck…”

"So you came fast. It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t mean you’re a child, or less of a man, or whatever you’re thinking right now,” Hyoseob says.

“I just…wanted to be good.”

Hyoseob takes a deep breath to steady himself and kisses Jiho’s lips. That’s the issue with it all. Jiho wants to be good, wants to please him and make him feel good, and now he feels like he’s failed. So he has to find a way to make Jiho feel like he can recover.

“You’re being good for me, baby, I promise,” Hyoseob says. “Do you think you can get hard again?”

Jiho pushes himself up, pulling out of Hyoseob in the process with a grimace that Hyoseob tries not to copy from the bit of discomfort the action causes. “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay,” Hyoseob says. “We’ll recalibrate. You wanna make me feel good?”

Jiho nods. “Always.”

Hyoseob has to pause a moment from the earnest way he says it because no matter how many times Jiho demonstrates it, he still struggles to fully comprehend the way Jiho wants nothing more than to make him happy. If he’s honest, he still struggles to fully comprehend the way he feels the same towards Jiho. But that’s to mull over later.

“Why don’t you get your fingers back in me and stroke my cock, that’s what I wanna feel,” Hyoseob says.

It’s a risky move – he’s genuinely not sure if he’ll enjoy it, but he’s hoping he’ll notice if he doesn’t first and be able to redirect Jiho before he realizes. He has faith in Jiho’s abilities though. He’s seen him finger himself to orgasm more than once, so if anyone is going to know how to make it feel good for him, it’s Jiho. After slicking his fingers up with lube, Jiho settles himself more comfortably between Hyoseob’s legs.

Hyoseob smiles when Jiho glances at him and then forces himself to relax as Jiho’s fingers probe at his hole before he slips two inside. It’s not all that uncomfortable like the first few times he fingered himself. Not now after he’s had Jiho’s dick inside him. Jiho strokes his cock with practiced strokes, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure and twisting his wrist the way Hyoseob likes, making it easy for Hyoseob to let his head rest back against the pillows and enjoy it even with the penetration.

Jiho’s fingers crook up and push against his prostate and Hyoseob lets out a sigh as it sends a slow-moving wave of pleasure through his pelvis, the steady pressure making his dick twitch. It’s…different from when he did it himself. Maybe because Jiho can get a better angle than he could. Either way, it’s more enjoyable and he lets his legs fall open a little wider as Jiho thrusts his fingers in small motions.

“Is that…?”

Hyoseob looks down at Jiho, heart clenching from the uncertain expression he sees on Jiho’s face. “It’s good, Jiho. Actually, it’s way better than when I…ah…”

The pleasure from Jiho’s fingers pushing more insistently on his prostate takes him by surprise. Jiho sets up a slow rhythm and then shifts down so he can press his lips to the base of Hyoseob’s cock, lips wet and warm as he slides his tongue against his skin. He’s done something similar to Jiho before, making Jiho come over and over before massaging his prostate until come leaks out of his overly sensitive cock. He doubts that’s Jiho’s plan here, but the consistent pressure on his prostate is…nice.

“Ah…” He threads his fingers through Jiho’s hair and rocks his hips down.

Jiho gets the message and drives his fingers up with even more pressure, the sensation making Hyoseob’s legs tremble from the way it sends a heavy and thrumming pleasure radiating throughout his pelvis. A curse spills from his lips followed by Jiho’s name, the syllables slurring together. When he looks down, Jiho’s staring up at him with the usual eager to please look that fills Hyoseob’s heart up with affection and desire born of knowing just how much Jiho trusts him.

Even like this. Even with something new.

Jiho licks his way up to the tip again and then takes Hyoseob’s cock down to the base in one fluid motion, pushing down until he has Hyoseob in his throat before he swallows and fucks his fingers into Hyoseob’s prostate in a rapid motion. Hyoseob shouts, pushing himself upright and twisting his fingers in Jiho’s hair as he comes. The orgasm washes over him quick and hot, the muscles in his thigh twitching and jumping as he rides it out and comes down Jiho’s throat. When he lets go, Jiho pulls off of him, gasping for breath even as he ducks back down to lick over the tip of Hyoseob’s cock, attentive as always.

Hyoseob lies back as Jiho’s fingers slide out of him. His own breath comes fast as he lets Jiho continue to lick and suck at him, the slight overstimulation riding the delicate line between enjoyable and overwhelming. He runs his fingers through Jiho’s hair, rubbing at his head. The way Jiho gets such comfort out of just having his mouth on Hyoseob never fails to amaze him.

“That was really good, Jiho, thank you,” he says once he feels like he can talk without his voice cracking. “Your fingers…fuck, I don’t know what I was doing wrong but you made it feel so good, babe…”

He lets the praises continue to fall from his lips as Jiho’s eyes slide shut and he takes Hyoseob’s dick back in his mouth, deep the way he does when he warms him. Hyoseob relaxes and pets his hair. He’s more than content to let Jiho do what he wants and if warming his cock now that Hyoseob has come is what he wants, he has no complaints at all. It doesn’t take long for him to start drifting, the haze of his orgasm soothing him. There’s no fear about making sure Jiho feels good either, not when he can feel how still and Jiho is against his legs, steady breaths exhaling rhythmically as he drools.

“So good for me,” Hyoseob murmurs, fingers slipping along the curve of Jiho’s ear. “Should I make you come again, baby?”

Jiho doesn’t respond outside his eyelids fluttering before he goes still again. Hyoseob smiles and rests his head back against the pillow instead, content to let himself doze until Jiho’s ready to come back from whatever soft and warm headspace he’s found for himself. It’s good to know he likes penetration more than he thought originally. If they can work on Jiho’s stamina and technique, he thinks they could have a lot of fun with him sitting in Jiho’s lap instead of the other way around. It’d be another way to help Jiho reach that quiet space Hyoseob wants so badly to provide for him.

At some point, he starts to get hard again. It’s not all the way, but it’s enough that Jiho makes a muffled noise as he readjusts to the size. He doesn’t have any real desire to come again. It just feels…nice. He opens his eyes and pushes himself up on his elbows, looking down at Jiho.

“Are you hard again baby?” he asks, keeping his voice soft.

Jiho’s eyes open, tears gathering at the edges from the way Hyoseob’s cock brushes the back of his throat like this. He nods, tongue slicking at the underside of Hyoseob’s cock and prompting more drool to slide down over his balls in the process before he pulls all the way off and inhales, the noise shaky. He’s more worked up than Hyoseob would’ve guessed.

“Ah, come here, spoon up behind me, okay?”

Hyoseob reaches for the lube as Jiho moves, coating his hand with it before reaching between his legs and back to grab Jiho’s cock once he’s in position. Jiho inhales, sharp, but doesn’t say anything as Hyoseob slicks him up. Hyoseob pulls his top leg up part way.

“Grab under my knee and hold me open okay, baby? Then I want you to get that big dick in me and just hold it in, alright?”

Hyoseob looks back at him, smiling at the hazy look in Jiho’s eyes and the quiet way he follows orders, a strong hand curling around the soft space behind Hyoseob’s knee and pushing it up and back. It takes a little bit of shifting, but Hyoseob finds the right angle to reach down and guide Jiho’s cock back to his hole. Jiho exhales, something like a whimper escaping him as Hyoseob guides him back in. It’s rare that he’s able to render Jiho entirely speechless, but it’s breathtaking when it happens, the way everything in him goes quiet and he just feels.

Jiho slides in slow, stretching Hyoseob out until he’s buried, breath puffing out in gasps against Hyoseob’s shoulder and Hyoseob can feel him tremble as he tries not to move. He reaches down just a little further and cups Jiho’s balls. A whine spills out of Jiho’s lips and his hips shove forward even though he can’t get any deeper.

“Feel good?” Hyoseob asks.

“Haaa…hnnn…ghh…”

The incoherent noises Jiho gasps out come between soft bites at Hyoseob’s shoulder like he can’t help himself. Hyoseob hushes him and squeezes down. The action prompts another whimpering noise and Jiho thrusts a few times, quick and short before going still again as he pants.

“Slower, baby, enjoy it,” Hyoseob says, squeezing Jiho’s balls and then tugging at them.

Jiho groans but follows the rhythm Hyoseob sets for him, pulling out and thrusting back in at Hyoseob’s urging. Hyoseob keeps his grip firm, giving Jiho something to ground himself to. Before long, Jiho stops shaking and his noises lower, dissolving into more familiar moans as he relaxes enough to really enjoy how it feels.

“Yeah, just like that, I love how good this makes you feel, baby, you feel good for me?” Hyoseob asks.

“Y-Yeah…”

“Yeah? Feels good fuck me and make me feel good with your dick?” Hyoseob asks.

“Uh-huh, it f-feels…” Jiho bites at his shoulder again, worrying the muscle between his teeth as he thrusts.

“You like being a good boy for me?”

“Ohhhh…”

Hyoseob smiles and reaches back to twist his fingers in Jiho’s hair, tugging his head up and then down so he can press their lips together in something close to a kiss. It’s a little difficult from the way Jiho’s mouth drops open around his moans. Hyoseob doesn’t mind.

“Yeah, you’re being a good boy, Jiho, you’re fucking me just right,” Hyoseob whispers against his lips.

He drops his hand back to squeeze Jiho’s balls, fingers sliding back to press at his perineum once Jiho fucks deep into him again. Jiho shouts, choking on something that sounds vaguely like Hyoseob’s name as he comes again, spilling into Hyoseob’s ass as his balls jerk in Hyoseob’s hand. Hyoseob squeezes him through it, milking him until he feels come spill out of him around his fingers.

His own cock is still only half hard, but that hadn’t been his goal. There will be time for that in the future, all he’d wanted was to let Jiho feel how good it was to be inside him. He guides Jiho’s cock out of him and wipes his hand on the sheets before rolling over so he can press up against Jiho’s front and kiss him properly, deep and thorough the way they both like. By the time they’ve both had their fill, Jiho’s breathing is steady again. When Hyoseob looks at him, his eyes are clearer too, a sign that he’s emerging from the soft headspace he enjoys so much.

“I think that was even better than we thought it would be,” Hyoseob says. “What about you?”

Jiho lets out a small laugh and flops onto his back, hand resting against his stomach as Hyoseob curls into his side. “A little different than I thought it would be.”

“Different doesn’t mean bad,” Hyoseob says, resting his chin on Jiho’s pec and reaching up with his clean hand to brush his fingers over Jiho’s lips. He smiles when Jiho instinctively bites at them and then flushes when he realizes what he’s doing. “Does it baby?”

“Definitely not,” Jiho says. He kisses the pads of Hyoseob’s fingers. “I love you.”

Hyoseob wiggles up so he can press a kiss to the tip of Jiho’s nose. “I love you too, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at the same handle. If you want, you can message me for my discord too :)


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